Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Bullied!

As the pieces fall from the northeast Ohio high school shooting, one of the possible reasons mentioned was cyber bullying. Very sad to think that kids using Twitter were responsible for the tragedy that caused three young people to lose their lives.

I'm sure that this will be spun so often that most will be weary of hearing of it. I will let the psychologists, and the legal system do their jobs. I am no expert.

But I know a little about bullying, as both my younger brother and myself were bullied growing up. My brother more than me.

Ricky was learning disabled, though my parents didn't want him to have the "mentally retarded" tag. Back in the 60's and 70's, there wasn't all the help available that there was today. Till the day she died, my mom denied the fact that my brother might have been retarded, er developmentally disabled. He also suffered from neurofibromtosis. One of the manifestations of this was blotches on his skin. Kids called him "spot". They did this to upset him, maybe make him cry. Later, when he started having seizures, kids taunted him until he went into convulsions. To this day I regret not sticking up for him more often. Our dad never did. He didn't want to be bothered.

Since I never quite learned how to defend myself, kids picked on me as well. If I got into a fight at school, I would be in trouble when I got home. If I approached my dad about anything in regards to being treated unfairly, his response would be "Oh for c***** sake!"  One time he punched me in the mouth. How did I cope. I cried a lot. Sometime in public. I was told that it was my own fault. Nobody would show me how for it not to be my fault, how to correct it.

This has followed me all through my adult life. In wanting to be friends with everybody, I had allowed myself to be run over time and again. "It's your own fault, Cliff." Time and again, throughout my professional life, I have allowed others to bully me, not knowing how to remove my permission. My crying is now done in private and I'm glad my steering wheel does not have ears.

But the majority of my damage has been to myself. Perhaps if I could have defended myself more in life, I could be making more than federal poverty level. It's my fault. Nobody else is at fault. Thank God that very little has gone outward.

Unfortunately this is not always so. That is when tragedy happens. Nobody deserves to die. But words do hurt. Whose fault is it? I don't know.

Bottom line is this: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

2 comments:

Michelle said...

I was bullied too growing up and i still have low self esteem to this day. I love the quote byy Elenor Roosevelt "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" . I really wish I knew this quote when I was younger.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Cliff,
I really hope you can STOP the damage to yourself...you are a wonderful person worthy of being treated as well as YOU treat others!
This case in Ohio is so sad...and sadly, it is becoming more common.
I don't get it. I don't get bullies. I was picked on too....and dang it, those bullies stink to high heaven...which or course, we won't be seeing them there!
xoxo