I spent a good part of my weekend feeling sorry for myself. About 1:30 Saturday afternoon, we had received a phone call from my brother Allen. He told Kathy that he couldn't bear the pain he was going through and was being taken via ambulance to the Hospice Center on E 185th St., in Cleveland. In the past 12+ years, I have heard the "H" word applied to a member of my family all too much. I have known for a few months now that Allen had cancer. Up to about a month ago, we hadn't been in the same place together in about 10 years. As a matter of fact, the photo above is me with all my siblings at Christmas 1979. It was very rare that the 5 of us could get together at any time.On March 8, 1997 my half sister, Bev, had passed away in the same facility where Allen is now. She had challenges from the day she was born when the doctor had scarred her with the forceps. Neurofibromatosis caused unsightly growths and one eye to be blind. She almost choked to death giving birth. And when she passed away at age 45, one of her two children was 11 years old. Kathy and I took custody of him and he lived with us until he graduated from high school.
My father passed away from heart failure on September 13, 2000. My mom died from COPD on April 4, 2004, and my brother Richard passed away March 4, last year. My youngest sister, Deirdre, who has some challenges, lives with us.
Sometimes I have to wonder why? Why have I lost most of my immediate family and am only 53. It's been said that the Lord doesn't put more on you than you can handle. I don't know...
Comments
You have a good heart, and you are blessed to at least be around your family as they pass on --- indeed, you seem to be blessed with long life. Always, I has come to discover, every blessing have two sides and a middle, just like a coin. Toss it up and one get the head or the tail of a blessing, but it's what's in between that counts. You are, for lack of a better word, the stuff in between that keeps your family together .. and I see that as unconditional love.
Take care, and yes I dare say this ... God bless.
first of all ((((BIG HUG)))
I'm mixed on the God giving you only what you can cope with thing myself. On good days I believe it, on bad days... I still know it's true, but I resent it. This weekend I was feeling pretty worn out and resentful myself. Long story and not at all like yours - not at all as heart-wrenching as yours.
Life can erode you to the dust of bones some days. Wish I could think of something to make it better, but losing people you love, or seeing them suffer,can never be made better with mere words.
Love and prayers sent
I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way...I hope Allan is not in pain anymore.
I lost quite a few people while in my 20's, and I have a very small family.
loss unfortunaly is a part of life that sucks.
I lost my Dad in 1984,he was 58.
I lost my Mom in 2003 she was she was 73.I'm greatful that I still have my 2 younger sisters,Sandy and our baby sis Linda.
Maybe what my Dad used to say may bring some confort.He said that God has given evey one a number and when he calls that number it is your turn to go home mo mater what the age.
(((Cliff))))
Mike of Rambling Stuff sent me over. :)
I lost my mother when I was 11 and never knew my father. While I admit to having holes in my heart, I've never felt they weren't with me.
YOU were put here for a reason and like all of us, you will go when it is your time. In the meantime please don't dwell on loss. Loss is a part of life.
Your times together are always in your memory. Visit them when you need to, but not at the cost of your own life and needs.
You have people around you who care as deeply for you as you do for the people you've lost. Be sure to balance your time....
Believe me...this weekend, I was in that same spot. But, after taking some time this afternoon to refresh myself and refocus my energy, I feel better.
Loss is a part of life. Why it's all happened to you by age 53, I have no clue. God just needs His angels sometimes. (A lesson learned from Laura Chaney's death last week, right there.) He needed them all to watch over you and Kathy. It is true He never puts more on you than you can take. And you just have to ask Him and he'll help if you need it...and so will I and all of those who commented above me.
My prayers are going out this evening to you and your sweet wife, hopefully everything turns out right...in fact it will. Because the Bible does say..."All things work for good for those who love Him(Romans 8:28)".
My life has been a very rocky road - yet somehow I was always brought back to faith through prayer. It is a reminder that we are also here as a journey to the Lord someday, where we all can be together ... forever.
God bless,
Eric from SCH
I sure wish I had all the words to take this discomfort away from you, but I don't.
I only know that if we relied only on ourselves for this, we wouldn't need our Savior.
You are in my prayers for comfort and wisdom.