Skip to main content

Did it have to come to this?

Sixteen months ago, March 4, 2008, was one of the saddest days in my life. 3:07am that day as I was getting ready for work, I received a phone call informing me that my younger brother had just passed away. For the next two weeks afterward, I let all those who read my blog all about my brother Ricky, someone who made the most out of life despite the fact he had physical and developmental disabilities.

This afternoon when I left work, I went over to the Hospice of the Western Reserve to visit my older brother, Allen. I was there for about 10 minutes and I'm sure he didn't realize I was there.
Allen is one who was provided many tools from God, but spent his life using them improperly. I remember my parents telling me that Allen had a higher than average IQ and he was also a very good mechanic. Through the years Allen worked on my car many times as I'm the complete opposite as a mechanic.

I think Allen's worst enemy was himself. He dropped out of school with an 8th grade education and was in and out of jail. He was also married at least 5 times. He and I started following separate paths about 1978 as I was preparing to get married. We'd see each other at our mom's house(we had different fathers) every once in awhile, but as the years passed we saw each other less and less. I would hear from him when he was having trouble. He didn't know my dad, who helped raise him, died until months later. We didn't know where he was at the time. When our mom was under hospice care, the only reason they spoke was because I called him and handed my cell phone to her. The next time we had pleasant words was a few years later. To his credit, Allen reached out to me. We also found out we both liked NASCAR, and we were both fans of Tony Stewart.

I wonder why it had to come to a terminal disease to get back together with my brother? I also wonder how many siblings have the same question as I?

PLEASE, if you have a strained relationship with another family member don't wait for something like this to happen. You might not be able to make peace like Allen and I did. But in the interim, too many years were wasted.

Comments

Minerva said…
At least you have made peace with him. And you're there for him in his darkest hour. That's admirable and shows your character. Stay well, and I hope that your brother goes peacefully.
clean and crazy said…
bless your heart, thank you for sharing your family with us. my sister and brother are the same way, it wasn't until my parents died that we realized we are all we got. it is funny i am the "labeled addict" i was also mommys little princess who could do no wrong, a brand all my siblings bestowed on me. now it is like they are always turning to me for answers.
me the middle child, i tried to run from this responsibility but today well i still don't know how to feel about it but i do feel better about myself, in the fact that i try to be as direct as possible, set my boundaries and stand in my own truth. the rest is up to them. i know how tough it is looking after a loved one stricken with cancer. i hate cancer. prayers for your family during this tough time.
Busy Bee Suz said…
You are so right on this...we should grasp time/words with each other when ever we can.
I hope he is ok...
take care, suz
Amel said…
Thanks for the reminder. HUGE HUGS...I can't say anything anymore except just wishing you and your family to feel God's presence with you throughout this hard time.
Ms Hen's said…
Beautiful post.

Popular posts from this blog

Post 800: Time to chat

Hi Guys, It's hard to believe that this is post number 800 for this blog. I started this blog out of my desire to communicate. Since radio and television is becoming more and more automated and less and less personal, I'm glad I made the decision to go in this direction as it has given me many blessings. When I first decided to write my musings, a friend from the radio and television boards who goes by the name of newsnomore, told me not to be discouraged if I didn't get any readers. The fact that I did in the early going made me surprised and grateful that anyone was enjoying what I wrote. I've had people tell me that maybe it wasn't meant for me to ever be in radio, that maybe my calling was blogging. Nowadays I think blogging makes for better two way conversation than terrestrial radio, especially the way I do it, non confrontational. The closest I come from any confrontation is the innocent digs that Pat and I shoot at each other. On an average day I get betwee

Lawson's Chip Dip

On a couple of occasions I have written posts dedicated to Lawson's, a convenience store chain that was located in Ohio for close to 50 years. In the late 1980's the chain was bought out by Dairy Mart, of Engfield Ct. Dairy Mart was then purchased by Alimentation Couche-Tard, and most stored were rebranded Circle K. Something that has survived the years since Lawson's has left the landscape is Lawson's Chip Dip. I get many hits on this blog from people out of Ohio, I'm thinking former Buckeyes, looking for availability of this chip dip. I had gotten an email from a former resident of Cleveland looking for it. I emailed Circle K about this sometime ago asking if it was possible to send the dip out to those out of state, they said because of quality issues that it was not possible. My only suggestion would be to get in touch with Circle K in your home area and ask them to start stocking this very popular item that seems to make every get-together complete. Now we wil

Sometimes Sports are Just Sports

 This may or may not make the final cut of my book. I was writing about some events this weekend and what had started as a joyous Friday night at my home school district became a weekend of heartbreak in the area after what happened at another school. Sometimes We Need to Realize That Sports are Just Games   Friday nights in late summer and early fall are sometimes a big deal for high school students and their families. As the long-time band announcer for my local high school, it is a time of year I always look forward to. This past Friday night was originally supposed to be the homecoming game for the local high school. The schedule had to be changed a bit because of the uncertainty of the opponents being able to field a team. There was talk around the league that they may have had to forfeit this game, so homecoming for the local school was rescheduled. The opponents, which are rivals of my local school district, were able to field a team and the game was played. The game was