Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Thoughts from my head....

The past couple of days, as I have been mourning the passing of my older brother, Allen, I have come to the realization that I'm one of an extremely small group of people who care. If Allen could communicate now, he would say that he's not proud of some of the things he did in his life, especially to those closest to him. As I have stated in my previous post, there are some who oppose having a memorial service because of some of the things done in his life.

A memorial service is given for those who are still here to give them closure. We could all see from the memorial service of note yesterday, that there are those who want to honor how the departed touched their lives. Cliff Note: I did not mention specifics in this paragraph because I did not want the hits from google searches on this topic.

Those who read this blog last March remember when my younger brother, Richard, had passed away. Kathy and I had scheduled the memorial service on March 8, which in retrospect was not a good decision. March 8, 1997 was when my older sister had passed away. My neice was upset that we had scheduled Ricky's memorial service for that date for that reason. I scheduled it on the 8th because it was Saturday that week and I had thought it would also honor our sister's memory. A blizzard made this a moot point and I honered Ricky's memory with two weeks worth of posts on this blog. I was amazed with those whose lives were touched by Ricky.

I didn't know Allen as well as I did Ricky. Allen had spent his life fending for himself and burning bridges as he went along. He enjoyed working on cars and the last time I visited him at his home, he helped me with a problem I had with the window of my wife's car. His daughter in law told me that it tickled him to be able to do that for me. He also talked NASCAR with me, especially when he could razz me about one of my favorite drivers having a bad race. It was fitting that one of his favorites, Tony Stewart, won the race 7 hours before he passed on.

Allen also showed on rare occasion that he cared. He provided the tickets for me and Ricky to go to opening day in 1982. Click here for the post I wrote about that game. If he could have shown that side more often, the decision for a memorial service would be a no brainer.

Just remember that no matter what we do, we are always touching others, either for good or for bad.

9 comments:

Amel's Realm said...

Ah...I'm speechless...but I think if some people want to do a memorial service for Allen, they should do it. It's their right to do so.

Anyway, THANKS for the reminder that you wrote as your last sentence of this post.

My thoughts are with you and your family...

Gin said...

Beautiful tribute and post. Your last sentence is right on. I am still thinking of you.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I agree, the service is for those left behind, not the one who has passed on.
Sometimes in a family, it is hard to please everyone.
Take care, suz

Mike Golch said...

Yes we do touch others for good or for bad.So far I have not lost a sibling,yet.Parents,and Grand Parents,yep.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

I'm sorry for all the losses you have suffered.It's always best to focus on the good times - the bad are in the past.

J. Moses(Tri-State Media Watch Editor) said...

Well said, Cliff my brother. Well said.

~Jeremy

Pat Jenkins said...

it is not easy to honor those who have caused much hardship for others. but a life is a life, and there is "glory" in having that breathed that into us. that should always be celebrated... good luck with your decision wixy!

Syd said...

I think that a memorial service is about remembering those who have died. Good or bad, Allen was a child of God. He is at peace.

Anonymous said...

Cliff,
Sorry about the loss of your brother. I just notice what you wrote on the Listening Party blog. I don't always get a chance to come by here and read your blog. You are in my prayers

MJ6 from Listening Party