Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sunday Musing:When do you reach your breaking point?

I guess I officially hit my breaking point these past few days, when Murphy's law was in full force. I knew that I hit it yesterday when I wrote a post where I struck some nerves of some reading between the lines and read something I never intended to infer. I meant what you could read in black and white, but my anger was never directed towards anyone I didn't identify.

Normally the public relations person in my will not write several posts in a row about myself. I usually like to write about others, especially other bloggers. With more and more going to Facebook and Twitter to post their feelings, the blogs are getting read by less folks.

Back to the breaking point. I took a vacation three weeks ago, thinking I was going to get some rest and maybe get some things done around the house. Our son, Adam went into the hospital the first day of the vacation and became our focal point. We were both really stressed, Kathy more than I, and any quality rest time became impossible. The day I returned to work, I did so on three hours sleep. We figured out, we without any medical degrees, that Adam's medication was causing his problems that had sent him to the hospital.

Then I worked the next couple of weeks without a paycheck since I took my vacation pay in advance. That also played into the debacle I described in the last post.

Things have been real rough on us in the last couple of years. I lost both of my brothers, and our daughter got divorced. Top that with the fact that Kathy can't work due to arthritis in her legs and severe panic attacks. And we all know that one paycheck doesn't go far nowadays, and we had to get an attorney in order to try to get her disability. So yes I view a speeding ticket and overdraft charges as being devastating. When I have had to pay so much lately for things I had no control over, things of my own doing have sent me to tears.

Kathy said it best. She told me that we should go to church this morning and be prayed over. She feels that the devil is trying to get between the two of us and knows how he can do it. Cliff Note:Keep in mind we are Pentecostal. He has gotten to me over financial situations and her over the problems Adam had.

This is just a reminder that none of us lead perfect lives. And we need to be praying for one another.

I also realize that I'm not the only one in the world with problems and I hate writing so many posts "about me." But on the same token, I want you to either avoid reaching your breaking point or ask for prayer when it happens. Under these circumstances, I'm embarrassed asking for prayer, but I feel I need it real bad at this point, as my wife needs me to be at my best in order to be an effective head of household.


Mike Golch said...

Cliff,I to have reached many breaking points in my life.asking for help is something that should be one breaking point I hwas drinking way to heavly and even though I knew that I was an alcholic,I did not care and was suscidal as well.God and several family members helped through that piont in my life.God Bless.

Michelle said...


Busy Bee Suz said...

I hope things start to look up for you and your family. Never think twice about asking for prayers...really. Sending some for you all now!

Ms Hen said...

When I went to Al-Anon my Life Changed. I used to be the one that was the Heroine and had to do it all.. Everyone counted on me.. for one reason or another.

I learned (this is just my case only) it was because as a child I had NO CONTROL over the abuse; violence etc.. so as an Adult I had to do it ALL so I would have Control over my environment.

I did too much for my grown children; etc...
And for my love interests.. (and for my husband when I was married).. and everyone let me.

God.. will give you what you ask for and make you learn whatever lessons you have to learn.

I learned NOT to be the Heroine.. I do enough but I do for me FIRST so I don't get worn out.

Please don't let everyone drain you.. or you won't be there for them to help them in the necessary amount. You have to have some down time.

And I will prayer for you. I am almost finished reading that book I am going to mail to you by Dr. Wayne Dyer.

You are a GOOD MAN... but you need to let others do for themselves too.. what would happen if you were not around to keep doing for your daughter and all??

I asked myself that question about me.. :)

(a million hugs)

J. Moses(Tri-State Media Watch Editor) said...

I'll pray for you and I need you to do the same for me. I hit my own breaking point around 1:15 this morning...don't even know what triggered it, it just triggered...

clean and crazy said...

awe, a truly humbling post. i do hope you are feeling better. it is ok to take care of yourself, for me part of taking care of me is blogging about me. i really love the honesty in this blog. be kind to you and your beautiful family, this too shall pass, and you will smile again. i hope you smile when you read this.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

i will pray and I know firsthand that the life of a Christian is far from perfect. I think venting on your blog and sharing your truth is fine. I tried to pretend for so many years that my life was perfect. I don't do that anymore. God is there, but he makes sure we have to lean on Him

Pat Jenkins said...

we are always thinking about you wixy!!

Syd said...

We each have those moments Cliff. You have my prayers.