Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Why me?

I spent most of the past three days in a funk. It even affected my health.

It started Friday afternoon. My wife had spent the prior 36 hours staying with her dad so her mom could go to West Virginia and visiti her mother in the nursing home. As most should know, my father in law has health issues and felt he couldn't make the trip. She returned home about 3:30 Friday.

Shortly afterward, I got a call on my cell phone. It was Kathy. She was driving home, swerved to miss an animal, lost control of the car and ended up in a field, the right quarter panel hitting a utility pole. Kathy was bruised from her seat belt, which kept her from being ejected from her vehicle, but otherwise fine. The car was banged up, but drivable.

My first concern was to make sure my wife was fine, but on my way to the scene of the accident, I was letting out steam to make sure I got it all out. I was upset over the car, but grateful my wife was not injured.

Kathy was worried that I would hold this against her and I wanted to assure her I didn't. I also wondered why all these things were happening to us this year. I was also sinking into a depression. I was just glad that someone didn't come up to me and tell me that it was obvious that my relationship with the Lord wasn't what it should be. I think that person probably would have walked away thinking I lost my salvation altogether.

I was upset, not at the person, but at the circumstance. On top of the acident, Kathy was also cited for failure to control the vehicle, which we waived. It cost us $154.00. I believe that the judicial system is corrupt when they can charge over 100 dollars for court costs.

So this really put me in a funk, that I couldn't really express because I didn't want to hurt my wife any more than she was.

Sunday in church, I was not my usual animated self. One of the ladies asked us to come up to the front of the church and then had us anointed. It made me feel a little better, but Kathy then went to the pulpit, took the mike and started testifying. That was unusual because she had suffered from panic attacks for the past three years and would not go anywhere without me.

My depression lasted about another day. I didn't want to write anything here because I didn't want to unleash any venom on my blog that would cause irreparable damage, something I have also cautioned others about when writing their blogs. Funny thing about unvented emotions is that they have a negative effect on your health. I didn't vent and I couldn't vent because I didn't know what, or how, to vent. Ever feel that way?

I was on my lap top last night purchasing a download. Kathy thought for sure I was blasting her on my blog. I assured her that I wasn't. If you can't tell, we both have insecurity issues.

You know, accidents happen. They are called accidents because they weren't planned. Are they preventable? Most of the time they are, but hindsight is always 20/20.

I am glad that when I got saved in 1980, the Lord took a bad temper away from me. It's not easy to show restraint, but trusting in the Lord has kept me out of trouble many times over the years.

I feel bad about the car, but it was a gift from God. My great uncle gave it to us about a month before he died this past spring. God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and if need be He could sell some steaks to supply our needs. He will be there to provide us another car if we need it.

I have had several cars, but only one wife, the mother of our children. We have been married now for almost 30 years. We have frustrated each other many times, but we couldn't live without each other. What God has brought together, let no man tear asunder. I love my wife.

If you have read this far, thank you.

13 comments:

kathy said...

In the past 39 years together we have been through alot of things. But one thing I could always depend on was your love. I also love you to and my life would not be complete with our you Mrs74wixygrad

Doc said...

You two are lucky to have each other!

As for the car, it's only a hunk of metal. Like Fritos, they make them every day.

Hang in there!

dons_mind said...

http://deehymn.homestead.com/whyme.html

:)

Daisy said...

So sorry to hear about the accident, but you are so fortunate that Mrs. Wixy wasn't more seriously injured. When you think what might have happened, you have to realize how very lucky you are. Sounds to me like you are very lucky in love as well to have a life partner like Kathy you can depend on being there with you through good times and bad, and she can depend on you as well. This is one of those times you can step back and take stock of all that you have to be grateful for and then the unfortunate accidents that crop up into your life that you must deal with don't seem so important after all. They are certainly not worth getting in a funk about and making yourself ill as a result. Hope today will be a better day for you, Cliff.

Suz said...

I am really sorry that you both are having a rough time lately. You are really blessed to have each other and the fact that you KNOW how blessed you are is wonderful. Life is full of ups and downs. When we are down, it is best to think of the "UP'S".
Take care....
Thank you for your beautiful comment about my little one....
I am sending over a pocketful of sunshine to you both!!!

74WIXYgrad said...

Daisy: I am very fortunate. So many people bail out at the slightest hint of trouble or when they get tired of their spouse. I didn't hear the preacher say "till something better comes along." We have had to endure with quite a bit this year, but we have endured this together.

Don: thank you. I needed that.

Doc: You are right. We are lucky, but we are also blessed.

Suz: Sometimes it takes someone small for us to realize how blessed we are. Our grandchildren take up that job for us quite often.

Michelle Dawn said...

You are very lucky the accident wasn't any worse than it was. I hope Randy & I can make it thru everything we have been thru latley.

Frasypoo said...

Hi WIXY
I know how you feel.
So glad Mrs WIXY had her seat belt on.
Thats what marriage is all about..thro the good and thro the bad...and all that goes in between too.At the end of it when you look at each other with nothing but love...thats what counts
Also glad to hear about Mrs WIXY testifying at church,as someone who has panic attacks on somewhat the same lines I am so happy and proud of her

Bella said...

I was really shocked to read that Cliff. I am so glad to hear that Mrs. Wixy is okay.


Life is just full of ups and downs, isn't it?

I am so sorry.

Liquid said...

That was beautiful.

Jen said...

Wantig to vent does not make you a bad Christian! Holding things in all the time does not make you healthy..I have learned this! Remember "Jesus wept".

wzzp said...

Cliff, thanks for your words. Anytime you need to vent, call. We should be venting partners. There are times I need to vent, but no where, or no way to do it. Think about it!

Pat Jenkins said...

your only human wixy!!!