What I'm posting now is with the blessing of Chelle. Chelle is the cousin of Suzanne's husband, Richard. I had gotten the impression from both of them that they were about as close as sisters.
Suzanne had been a friend of mine since I had discovered one of her blogs in July, 2006. We would make reference to each other on our blogs and would have dialogue via email quite a bit. It was no surprise to me that she was friends to many other bloggers as well. I felt it was quite an honor to be held in as high esteem as I was. We even talked to each other on the phone on occasion. I felt as we had known each other for a long time.
I also knew that Suzanne was having some personal problems, much of which had to do with a very troubled marriage. I would let her bounce things off me, and I would send her some encouragement.
While she was going through some of her marital problems, she made herself available to give me a lift when I needed it. My son was having some problems of his own and she gave me assurance everything would be fine. When my brother died, she downloaded his photo from my blog and posted it on hers. I felt almost as close to my blogging family at that time as I was to my own.
I’ve been learning that Suzanne had some problems coping with some demons in her life. She had told me that she was bipolar and I’m sure that would have a lot to do with what has happened in the recent past.
As loving as Suzanne was to others, she was very destructive to herself. I always wonder why someone that God has given so much to, would want to destroy the package it came in?
Since my post yesterday, I’ve learned a couple of things. On Christmas Eve, Suzanne sent several emails out wishing the recipients a Merry Christmas. Sometime after she did that, she took her own life.
One of her most used phrases was, “I love you.” She ended many emails to me that way, as I’m sure she did for others. I wish she could had done that for herself.